Ôn tập từ vựng Tiếng anh

12. Góc từ vựng (Calm Word Tour) - Giải thích từ khóa [20:41]
 Standard (Tiêu chuẩn): Quy tắc cá nhân về những gì bạn chấp nhận.
 Available (Có sẵn): Có thời gian và khả năng đáp ứng.
 Reliable (Đáng tin cậy): Làm đúng những gì mình nói.
 Overwhelmed (Choáng ngợp): Cảm giác quá tải.
 Boundaries (Ranh giới): Giới hạn cá nhân.
 Uncomfortable (Không thoải mái): Cảm giác không yên, căng thẳng.
 Self-worth (Giá trị bản thân): Tin vào giá trị của mình.
 Validation (Sự công nhận): Sự xác nhận từ người khác.
 Fragile (Mong manh): Dễ bị tổn thương.
 Criticize (Chỉ trích): Phê bình tiêu cực.
 Crash (Sụp đổ): Tâm trạng đi xuống đột ngột.
 Self-awareness (Nhận thức bản thân): Nhận biết cảm xúc và phản ứng của mình.
 Trigger (Kích hoạt): Thứ gây ra phản ứng cảm xúc mạnh mẽ.
 Drain (Làm cạn kiệt): Lấy đi năng lượng từ từ.
 Doomscrolling: Lướt mạng xã hội xem tin tiêu cực liên tục.
 Apologize (Xin lỗi): Nói lời xin lỗi.
 Inner critic (Nhà phê bình nội tâm): Giọng nói tiêu cực trong đầu.
 Negative self-talk (Tự thoại tiêu cực): Cách nói chuyện khắc nghiệt với bản thân.
 Selfish (Ích kỷ) vs Healthy (Lành mạnh): Đặt ranh giới là lành mạnh, không phải ích kỷ.
 Guilt (Tội lỗi): Cảm giác làm sai điều gì đó.
 Regret (Hối tiếc): Buồn về điều đã làm hoặc chưa làm. [00:00:00] INTRO
Anna: Hello hello English learners, welcome back to the English Leap Podcast, your
cozy place to learn easy English through real conversations. I'm Anna.
Jake: And I'm Jake. We're really happy you're here.
Anna: Jake, quick check-in. How are you today?
Jake: I'm good today. I saw something small that made me feel calm.
Anna: Oh, what happened?
Jake: I was waiting in a line and someone let another person go first. No big show, just
a quiet kindness. It reminded me small things matter.
Anna: Quiet kindness. Hmm, I love that. It's simple but it stays with you.
Jake: Yeah. How about you?
Anna: I'm okay. I caught myself rushing then I stopped and I sat for one minute with my
warm drink. Just one minute, and it felt like coming back to myself.
Jake: Coming back to yourself. Yeah, that's a good feeling. And maybe you listening
right now, you also need that. A small return to yourself. So today's topic is perfect for this moment.
Anna: Yeah, today we're talking about how to love yourself more than anyone else. Not
in a selfish way, in a healthy way. Like respecting yourself, taking care of yourself, not abandoning yourself.
Jake: Also just so you know, this is a B1 level episode so if you're intermediate it's
perfect, and if you're a strong beginner you can still follow.
Anna: Yes, just take what you understand, repeat the useful lines and let the rest wash
over you like background music. That's still learning.
Jake: Still learning, yes. And to help you today we'll share a few simple self-love habits
you can use in real life. Like what to say to yourself on a bad day, how to set
boundaries, and how to stop being so hard on yourself. Step by step.
Anna: And we'll use real-life situations like work, family, friendships, messages and
daily moments so it feels practical, not theory.
Jake: And quick reminder, if you enjoy our episodes please like and subscribe. It really
helps the English Leap podcast grow. And leave a comment after you listen: what is one
small way you want to be kinder to yourself this week?
Anna: Hmm even one sentence is perfect. And because this is the English Leap
podcast, at the end we'll do a short "Calm Word Tour". That means we'll slow down,
collect the key words and phrases from today and explain them with simple examples so they stay in your English.
Jake: Okay, before we begin take one slow breath in and out. No pressure, you don't
have to become perfect today, just be here with us.
Anna: All right, let's start with the first idea. And please don't rush yourself while you listen, just stay with us.
[00:03:25] THE STANDARD
Jake: Yeah, let the ideas land slowly, no rush. And the first thing we want to share is simple but it changes a lot.
Anna: Okay, I'm listening.
Jake: Here's a simple truth: the way you treat yourself becomes your standard.
Anna: Yeah, it's like the invisible rules you live by. You don't announce them but people feel them.
Jake: Yes totally. It's almost like an inner price tag. Not money, but value.
Anna: Oh I like that. Because when you value yourself clearly other people usually follow your lead.
Jake: Right, but when you don't you start teaching people something without meaning
to. Like when you keep saying yes even when you want to say no.
Anna: Yes, people learn "Oh Anna is always available." And at first it sounds like a
compliment doesn't it? Helpful, kind, reliable.
Jake: Yeah but then it turns into a habit and habits turn into rules. Suddenly you're the
"yes person" even when you're exhausted.
Anna: Right, and one day you're tired, overwhelmed and you think "How did I get here?"
Jake: Yeah I've been there too. Can I share a small story? Anna: Please go ahead.
Jake: A few years ago a friend used to message me late at night. Not every day but
often, and I would reply even when I was half asleep. And I kept telling myself "It's fine
I'm just being nice." But slowly it started to wear me out.
Anna: Oh yeah, that kind of nice starts stealing your rest. Like your energy is leaking little by little.
Jake: Exactly, and then one night I didn't reply for 1 hour. Just 1 hour. And the next day
my friend said "Where were you?" In a serious tone like I had done something wrong.
Anna: Oof, that moment... because you realize the expectation is already there.
Jake: Yeah I trained people to expect instant access to me. I didn't plan it but I taught it.
So the lesson isn't stop being kind, the lesson is kindness needs a limit. [00:05:24] BOUNDARIES
Anna: Kindness needs a line. Yes that's the word: Boundaries. In English boundaries
means your personal limits. What is okay and what is not okay. And boundaries aren't
walls, they're more like doors.
Jake: Yeah doors. You can still be warm but you're also in control. You decide who
comes in, how long they stay and what behavior is allowed inside. And you decide when
to close the door so you can rest.
Anna: And here's the interesting part: when you set a boundary some people suddenly get uncomfortable.
Jake: Yeah especially the people who benefited when you had no boundaries. And it
doesn't mean they're evil it just means they're not used to your new standard.
Anna: 100%. New standard and a calmer you. And when you raise your standard
something inside you has to change first.
Jake: Yeah because boundaries aren't only about other people, they're also about what you believe you deserve.
[00:06:30] SELF-WORTH & VALIDATION
Anna: Right, and that brings us to something deeper: your worth is not up for
discussion. Mm, let's talk about Self-Worth.
Jake: Self-worth means you believe you have value as a human being even on your bad days.
Anna: Yeah not only on your good English days or your super productive days.
Jake: Exactly not only on the days when you look perfect and do everything right. A lot
of people connect their worth to money, looks, or approval.
Anna: Hmm that word Validation.
Jake: Yeah validation means other people confirming you are good enough. And
validation feels nice of course, but if you need it all the time you become fragile.
Because if someone doesn't like you, you crash. If someone criticizes you, you feel small.
Anna: I remember once I posted something online, a small thing, and one person wrote
a rude comment and my mood changed instantly. Like they had a remote control for my feelings.
Jake: Oh wow that's such a clear image. One click and your whole day shifts.
Anna: Yeah and then I realized wait why does one stranger have this power? Because
you were borrowing your worth from outside.
Jake: Right, so here's a sentence you can keep: "My worth is not up for discussion".
And here's another one: "I am enough even while I'm improving."
Anna: Wow that line feels like a deep breath. And when you start believing that you stop living for the audience.
Jake: Stop living for the audience. Yeah that feels light. And then you can finally meet yourself.
[00:08:30] SELF-AWARENESS
Anna: Yes and meeting yourself is where self-love really starts. Not with big words but with honest noticing.
Jake: Right like you stop performing and you start paying attention. And this is where it gets really personal.
Anna: Yeah knowing yourself comes first. Self-Awareness first. Okay Jake question:
how do you love yourself if you don't even know yourself?
Jake: Exactly, you can't. This is where self-awareness matters. It means you notice
your feelings, your triggers, your needs. And I like the word trigger because it's like a
button. Something happens and boom you react.
Anna: A button I like that. Like someone says one sentence and suddenly you feel angry or sad or insecure.
Jake: Yeah so a simple exercise: ask yourself "What drains me? What gives me
energy?" Drain means it takes your energy away slowly like a phone battery going down.
Anna: Yeah for example doomscrolling drains me. Same also some people drain me.
Jake: Yep some conversations feel like a battery thief.
Anna: A battery thief. It's funny but it's also true. And self-awareness is noticing that without judging yourself.
Jake: Exactly you don't say "I'm weak." You say "Oh this drains me I need to protect my
energy." So try small quiet moments: journaling, walking, even just sitting without your
phone. It's like cleaning a window. When the window is clean you can see clearly, when
it's dirty everything looks cloudy.
Anna: Yeah when your head feels cloudy your decisions get messy too. So we're not
trying to be perfect, we're trying to see ourselves clearly.
[00:10:04] THE SORRY HABIT
Anna: And once you start seeing yourself clearly you notice another habit. A very common one: The Sorry Habit.
Jake: Yeah and it's so common that people don't even notice they're doing it.
Anna: I agree. It becomes automatic like a reflex. Like you're making yourself smaller
before anyone even asks you to.
Jake: Yeah so stop apologizing for existing. Because it sounds small but it changes a
lot. And you see it everywhere: people saying sorry for normal things. Sorry I'm talking,
sorry I'm asking, sorry I'm tired. Of course apologize when you make a real mistake but
don't apologize for being human.
Anna: Because when you apologize too much you send a message: "I don't deserve
space". And you do deserve space.
Jake: Yeah and this reminds me of a co-worker I had once. Really kind but every
message started with sorry even when they were helping me. And I remember thinking you don't need to shrink.
Anna: You don't need to shrink. Yeah that's the feeling. Because sorry can become a
way to ask permission to exist. And the right people won't ask you to disappear.
[00:11:19] INNER CRITIC & NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
Jake: And when you stop shrinking something else shows up: The Inner Critic.
Anna: Yeah it's like the moment you finally stand up a little straighter that voice goes
"Wait who do you think you are?"
Jake: Exactly and that's why we need to talk about negative self-talk.
Anna: Yes fixing negative self-talk. Hmm let's go inside the mind.
Jake: Yeah inside the head. The inner critic is that voice that says "You're not good
enough, you always fail." And the scary part is we start believing it like it's a fact not just a thought.
Anna: And once you believe it you start acting smaller again. So here's a simple trick:
talk to yourself like you talk to a friend. Because you would never say to your friend
"You're useless." But we say it to ourselves so quickly like it's normal. It's like living with
a bully but the bully is in your own mind.
Jake: A bully yeah. And that's the hard part, you can't walk away from it because it's
inside. So we have to change the voice. When you catch a negative thought don't fight it
aggressively just question it. Hmm like "Is this a fact or is this fear?"
Anna: That one question saves people.
Jake: Yeah because fear is like fog, it makes everything look bigger and scarier.
Anna: Ooh fog yes. My mind becomes a drama director. One small mistake and it's like
"Okay it's over." And facts are like flashlights they show what is real.
Jake: So when you make a mistake don't use it as proof you're bad, use it as information.
Anna: Yeah like feedback. Like "Okay noted next time I do it differently." That's it.
Mistakes are stepping stones they are not your identity.
[00:13:31] BOUNDARIES WITHOUT GUILT
Jake: And once your inner voice becomes kinder, boundaries become easier.
Anna: Yes because now you're not setting boundaries with anger you're setting them with self-respect.
Jake: Yeah and self-respect changes the feeling of NO. It stops being a fight and becomes a choice.
Anna: Right and this is where many good people struggle. Not because they don't know
what to do but because they feel guilty when they finally do it.
Jake: Yes Boundaries without guilt. Many listeners are people pleasers. People
pleasing means you try to keep everyone happy even if you suffer. And you feel guilty
when you say no. That guilt can feel so loud.
Anna: Yeah guilt has a big mouth. "You're bad, you're selfish". But saying no is not cruel
sometimes it's caring. Here are simple NO sentences you can borrow: "I can't today but
thank you for asking", "I'm not available this week", "I need to rest tonight". Notice:
short, clear, kind. No long explanation.
Jake: True because overexplaining is a trap.
Anna: Totally a sticky trap. Hmm it turns into a five-page essay called "Please Still Like Me".
Jake: True and when you start saying no something surprising happens: you get space.
[00:14:57] HAPPINESS & PERFECTION
Anna: Yeah and in that space you can finally feel joy again because joy needs room.
Jake: When your life is too crowded even good things can't breathe.
Anna: Yeah that's so true. When you're always running, always pleasing, always
explaining, you don't even notice the small good moments.
Jake: Exactly and once you have space you remember something important.
Anna: Yes you remember that Happiness is not a luxury. Some people treat happiness
like dessert, maybe later. Like it's a reward. But happiness is part of health. And you
don't need a perfect life to feel small joy.
Jake: Yeah small joy counts. Like a slow coffee, a short walk, a clean room, a good
song, a message from a friend, sunlight on your face, a laugh.
Anna: Mhm those little moments matter. And this is important: don't let society define
happiness for you because one person's dream can be another person's nightmare.
Jake: Absolutely so ask yourself "What makes me feel alive?". And sometimes the
biggest reason we delay happiness is because we are chasing perfection.
Anna: Perfection. Like you tell yourself "When I fix everything then I'll rest then I'll be happy."
Jake: Yeah I know that voice. And the problem is that 'then' never really comes.
Because the finish line keeps moving.
Anna: Right that's why perfection is a myth.
Jake: Yes if you wait to be perfect you'll wait forever because perfection is a moving target.
Anna: Yeah it keeps shifting. And honestly social media makes it worse. That's the
comparison trap. Comparing your real life to someone's highlight reel. And you don't see
their bad days you don't see their stress. So don't measure your life with fake images.
Measure your life with your values.
[00:16:51] PROTECT YOUR ENERGY
Jake: Yeah values are the real measure. And when you live by your values you start protecting your energy.
Anna: Yeah because you realize your energy is not unlimited.
Jake: So true. You can't keep giving and giving and then act surprised when you feel
empty. Even good people burn out.
Anna: Yeah and I think many listeners feel that. They're not lazy they're just tired.
Jake: Exactly so this is a gentle reminder: protect your energy. Not in a selfish way
more like in a "I want to stay healthy" way.
Anna: Right because your environment matters. People, content, routines... what you
allow around you affects you. Some relationships feel warm, some feel unsafe.
Jake: Yeah and your body notices first. You feel tense you feel small you start choosing
your words too carefully. And if someone constantly makes you feel small that's a sign.
Anna: Mhm it doesn't always mean they're a bad person it just means the space isn't
good for you. And sometimes you outgrow people. It's sad but it's real.
Jake: Yeah and you don't need a big fight you don't need drama. Sometimes you just step back little by little.
Anna: Right a little distance, more quiet, more room to breathe. Peace is also a choice.
[00:18:24] BOUNCING BACK & FORGIVENESS
Jake: Yeah I like that. And when you choose peace you become stronger. After hard moments you bounce back.
Anna: And when you can bounce back you start trusting yourself again.
Jake: Yeah because you're not breaking yourself after every hard moment you're learning how to recover.
Anna: Exactly it's like life still hits you but you don't fall apart the same way. So let's talk
about that recovery that bounce back feeling.
Jake: Yeah bounce back. Bounce back means you recover after something hard like
failure, rejection or just a bad week. And I like this phrase because it doesn't mean
nothing hurts it just means you come back.
Anna: Yes and people who love themselves bounce back faster because they don't punish themselves with shame.
Jake: Yeah they don't do that long "I'm worthless" speech in their head. Instead they
say "Okay that was hard but I'm still here." And then they look for one small win. Not a
huge victory just something small like "I got out of bed, I answered one email, I went for a short walk."
Anna: Yes those are wins. Celebrate small wins because small wins build confidence.
Quiet confidence. It's like building a wall with tiny bricks. One brick doesn't look like
much but over time it becomes strength.
Jake: Yeah and those little bricks help on the bad days because you can tell yourself
"I've done hard things before." And to bounce back like that we need one final ingredient: Forgiveness.
Anna: Yeah forgive yourself. Because honestly a lot of people are carrying old guilt like
a heavy backpack. And they've carried it for so long it starts to feel normal but it isn't.
Jake: Yeah it makes everything heavier. Even small days feel hard. And forgiving
yourself doesn't mean saying "What I did was perfect". Right? It means "I'm human, I
learned, I will do better". And then you release the pain instead of living inside it.
Anna: Yeah you stop replaying the same moment and beating yourself up again and
again. You keep the lesson but you put down the shame.
Jake: That's a beautiful line. You deserve a fresh start.
Anna: Mhm and if you're listening and feeling emotional right now just breathe. You're okay.
[00:20:41] CALM WORD TOUR
Jake: Yeah and we'll end in a calm way because this is the English Leap podcast. It's
time for our short Calm Word Tour. That means we slow down, we collect the key words
from today and we explain them with simple examples. You can replay this part anytime
no pressure just let the words settle.
Anna: Okay let's start. First one we kept using was Standard.
Jake: Yes your standard is your personal rule. It's what you accept and what you don't
accept. For example: "My standard is respect. If someone is rude I step back." Or: "My
standard is rest, I don't answer work messages late at night."
Anna: We also said Available. Right, available means you have time, you can respond,
you can do it. For example: "I'm not available tonight, I need to recharge." Or: "Are you available for a quick call?"
Jake: And we described people as Reliable.
Anna: Yes reliable means people can trust you. You do what you say you will do. For
example: "She's reliable if she says she'll help she really helps." Or: "I want to be
reliable but I also need boundaries."
Jake: We use the word Overwhelmed too.
Anna: Overwhelmed means you feel like there is too much and your brain feels full. For
example: "I felt overwhelmed this week so I took a quiet break." Or: "When I have too
many tasks I get overwhelmed."
Jake: And of course Boundaries. Big word today.
Anna: Yeah boundaries are your personal limits, what is okay and what is not okay. For
example: "My boundary is no work chats after 9 p.m." Or: "My boundary is speak to me with respect."
Jake: And when you set boundaries some people get Uncomfortable.
Anna: Yes uncomfortable means you don't feel relaxed, you feel uneasy, a bit tense.
For example: "He looked uncomfortable when I said no." Or: "I feel uncomfortable in loud places."
Jake: We talked about Self-Worth.
Anna: Yes self-worth means you believe you have value as a person even on bad days.
For example: "My self-worth doesn't change because of one mistake." Or: "I'm working
on my self-worth, I want to respect myself more."
Jake: We talked about Validation right?
Anna: Validation is when other people confirm you're good enough, like approval. For
example: "I like validation but I don't want to depend on it." Or: "If you always need
validation you start feeling unsure inside."
Jake: We also said Fragile.
Anna: Yes fragile means easily hurt or broken. We can use it for feelings too. For
example: "When I needed approval all the time my confidence felt fragile." Or: "After
that comment my mood felt fragile."
Jake: We also said Criticize.
Anna: Criticize means to say negative things about someone's work or actions. For
example: "My boss criticized my report but I learned from it." Or: "Try not to criticize yourself all day."
Jake: And then we said Crash, like emotionally crash.
Anna: Yes to crash emotionally means your mood falls suddenly. Like you feel okay and
then you drop. For example: "When she ignored my message I crashed and felt really
sad." Or: "After that call my confidence crashed."
Jake: Then we talked about Self-Awareness.
Anna: Yes self-awareness means you notice your feelings, needs and reactions. For
example: "Self-awareness helped me notice I was saying yes too fast." Or: "I'm building
self-awareness by journaling."
Jake: And we use the word Trigger right?
Anna: A trigger is something that causes a strong emotion quickly. For example: "That
comment was a trigger for me and I felt angry instantly." Or: "Crowds can be a trigger for my anxiety."
Jake: Then we used Drain.
Anna: Yes to drain means something takes your energy away slowly. For example:
"Doomscrolling drains my energy." Or: "Negative people drain me."
Jake: And we said Doomscrolling. Such a modern word.
Anna: Yeah doomscrolling means scrolling online for a long time usually reading
negative or stressful things. For example: "I stopped doomscrolling at night and I slept
better." Or: "When I doomscroll I feel heavy after."
Jake: We used Apologize too.
Anna: Yes apologize means you say sorry when you did something wrong. For
example: "I apologized for being late." And we also said: "Don't apologize for being human."
Jake: Then we talked about The Inner Critic.
Anna: The inner critic is that voice inside you that says you're not good enough. For
example: "My inner critic said I would fail but I tried anyway." Or: "When my inner critic
gets loud I take a breath and slow down."
Jake: And connected to that was Negative Self-Talk.
Anna: Yes negative self-talk is the harsh way you speak to yourself in your mind. For
example: "I'm replacing negative self-talk with kinder words." Or: "Negative self-talk
makes small problems feel huge."
Jake: We also said the word Selfish right?
Anna: Selfish means you only care about yourself and ignore others. But setting
boundaries isn't selfish it's healthy. For example: "It's not selfish to rest when you're tired."
Jake: And we talked about Guilt.
Anna: Guilt is that bad feeling you get when you think you did something wrong. For
example: "I felt guilt after saying no but I reminded myself it was okay." Or: "Guilt can be
loud but it's not always correct."
Jake: And the last one Regret.
Anna: Yes regret means you feel sad about something you did or didn't do. For
example: "I regret not speaking up but I'm learning now." Or: "I don't want to live with
regret so I'm choosing a fresh start."
Jake: Okay that was our Calm Word Tour. You can replay this part anytime. Listen again
and try using one word in a sentence today.
Anna: And remember you're still learning. That's not a problem, that's the whole point. [00:27:08] OUTRO
Jake: Okay before we go let's just sit with one small idea.
Anna: Yeah not 10 ideas, just one. If you remember only one thing from today let it be
this: The way you treat yourself teaches people how to treat you.
Jake: And you don't have to change everything overnight. Just choose one small
upgrade this week. Maybe one boundary, maybe one kinder sentence to yourself,
maybe one NO without a long explanation.
2. Cách bạn đối xử với bản thân là tiêu chuẩn cho người khác [03:25]
 Cách bạn đối xử với chính mình trở thành "tiêu chuẩn" (standard) hay những quy
tắc vô hình mà người khác cảm nhận được. Nó giống như một "nhãn giá" (price
tag) về giá trị của bạn.
 Nếu bạn luôn nói "có" khi muốn nói "không", mọi người sẽ học được rằng bạn
luôn "có sẵn" (available). Ban đầu điều này có vẻ tốt bụng, nhưng dần dần nó trở
thành sự kỳ vọng và khiến bạn kiệt sức.
 Bài học: Lòng tốt cần có giới hạn.
3. Thiết lập ranh giới (Boundaries) [05:24]
 Định nghĩa: Ranh giới là giới hạn cá nhân của bạn về những gì được phép và không được phép.
 Ranh giới không phải là bức tường ngăn cách, mà giống như những cánh cửa.
Bạn là người kiểm soát ai được vào và ở lại bao lâu.
 Khi bạn thiết lập ranh giới, một số người (đặc biệt là những người từng hưởng
lợi khi bạn không có ranh giới) có thể cảm thấy khó chịu. Điều này là bình
thường vì họ chưa quen với tiêu chuẩn mới của bạn.
4. Giá trị bản thân (Self-Worth) và Sự công nhận (Validation) [06:30]
 Giá trị bản thân: Bạn có giá trị như một con người ngay cả trong những ngày tồi
tệ, không chỉ khi bạn làm việc hiệu quả hay trông hoàn hảo.
 Sự công nhận: Nhiều người tìm kiếm giá trị từ sự công nhận của người khác.
Nếu bạn luôn cần sự công nhận, bạn sẽ trở nên mong manh (fragile).
 Khẳng định: "Giá trị của tôi không phải là điều để bàn cãi" và "Tôi đã đủ đầy
ngay cả khi đang hoàn thiện mình".
5. Nhận thức về bản thân (Self-Awareness) [08:30]
 Để yêu bản thân, bạn cần hiểu bản thân. Hãy chú ý đến cảm xúc, những yếu tố
kích động (triggers) và nhu cầu của mình.
 Bài tập: Tự hỏi "Điều gì làm tôi cạn kiệt năng lượng (drain)?" và "Điều gì mang
lại năng lượng cho tôi?". Ví dụ: lướt mạng xã hội tiêu cực (doomscrolling) hay
những cuộc trò chuyện độc hại có thể là những "kẻ trộm pin".
6. Từ bỏ thói quen xin lỗi (The Sorry Habit) [10:04]
 Nhiều người có thói quen nói "xin lỗi" cho những việc bình thường (như khi nói,
khi hỏi, hay khi mệt mỏi) như một phản xạ tự động để thu mình lại.
 Lời khuyên: Đừng xin lỗi vì sự tồn tại của mình hay vì mình là con người. Chỉ
xin lỗi khi thực sự mắc lỗi. Việc xin lỗi quá mức gửi đi thông điệp rằng bạn không
xứng đáng có chỗ đứng.
7. Đối thoại nội tâm và Chỉ trích bản thân (Inner Critic) [11:19]
 "Nhà phê bình nội tâm" là giọng nói trong đầu luôn chê bai bạn không đủ tốt.
 Mẹo: Hãy nói chuyện với bản thân như cách bạn nói với một người bạn. Bạn sẽ
không bao giờ bảo bạn mình là "vô dụng", vậy đừng nói thế với chính mình.
 Khi có suy nghĩ tiêu cực, hãy tự hỏi: "Đây là sự thật hay là nỗi sợ?". Nỗi sợ giống
như sương mù làm mọi thứ đáng sợ hơn, còn sự thật giống như đèn pin soi sáng thực tế.
8. Ranh giới không đi kèm cảm giác tội lỗi (Guilt) [13:31]
 Nhiều người làm hài lòng người khác (people pleasers) cảm thấy tội lỗi khi nói "không".
 Cách từ chối: Hãy nói ngắn gọn, rõ ràng và tử tế. Ví dụ: "Hôm nay tôi không
thể, nhưng cảm ơn đã mời", "Tuần này tôi không rảnh". Không cần giải thích dài dòng (overexplaining).
9. Hạnh phúc và Sự hoàn hảo [14:57]
 Hạnh phúc không phải là phần thưởng chỉ có sau khi mọi thứ hoàn hảo. Hạnh
phúc là một phần của sức khỏe.
 Đừng để mạng xã hội và sự so sánh làm bạn mất vui. Sự hoàn hảo là một mục
tiêu di động (moving target) không bao giờ đạt được. Hãy đo lường cuộc sống
bằng giá trị của bạn, không phải bằng hình ảnh ảo.
10. Bảo vệ năng lượng và Môi trường sống [16:51]
 Môi trường, con người và nội dung bạn tiếp xúc ảnh hưởng đến bạn.
 Nếu ai đó liên tục làm bạn cảm thấy nhỏ bé, không gian đó không tốt cho bạn.
Đôi khi bạn cần giữ khoảng cách để bảo vệ sự bình yên của mình.
11. Khả năng phục hồi (Bouncing Back) và Tha thứ [18:24]
 Phục hồi: Khả năng đứng dậy sau thất bại mà không tự trừng phạt bản thân.
Hãy tìm những chiến thắng nhỏ (small wins) để xây dựng lại sự tự tin.
 Tha thứ: Tha thứ cho bản thân vì những lỗi lầm trong quá khứ. Đừng mang theo
tội lỗi cũ như một chiếc ba lô nặng trĩu. Hãy giữ lại bài học nhưng buông bỏ sự xấu hổ.